I am re-visiting an online program I found when I went down one of my internet wormholes. (Internet Wormhole… when you Google one topic and end up on another website and another and another…)
I love the research coming out of the Pain Psychology Center. The Director has a free online program for Pain Recovery. It helped me a lot last year, and I am going to be reading through it again this year. YAY!
If you check it out, let me know what you think!
Chronic pain has a way of taking over your life. It can become an obsession. My first thought in the morning used to be, “How bad will the pain be today?” Chronic pain came along with chronic worry for me… and I didn’t even really realize it. I just assumed that it was normal. And it probably is *BUT* it doesn’t HAVE to be!
This new year, I am working on micro habits. Adding little routines into my life (baby steps!) that will have me waking up in the morning with something GOOD to look forward to, instead of immediately wondering how much pain I will be in that day.
New habit #1: I have a new daily meditation book to read, so that my first thought will be, “What will I learn today?”
New habit #2: After reading, I put on my favorite song and do some gentle stretches, and have gratitude for another day of life.
I also have a new notepad to keep track of my daily/weekly/life goals and do baby steps toward making them reality. #GOALS
Who am I now, in 2018?
I am a person who reads every day.
I am a person who looks forward to learning something new.
I am a person who stretches every day and loves my body exactly as it is.
I am a person who has goals.
I am a person who wants to wake up!
^ This website is a total game-changer for me.
I am learning how to relate to my pain differently, and it has been helping me SO MUCH.
I was at rock bottom after the 17 day migraine streak, thinking I couldn’t go on another day in that much pain. It was terrifying. I was deep in the depression and anxiety pit, so scared that the migraine beast wouldn’t leave me alone.
But now I am changing my relationship to the pain, and how I think about it…
I think it’s making a difference! Which is very exciting, because I needed a change–a mindshift.
This chronic pain journey is really intense. I feel like I am always learning something new. I move forward, and I have setbacks. But changing my relationship with pain is important.
I don’t want to live in fear anymore. I don’t want to be paranoid. And I don’t want to battle my body every day. I want to be friends with it again. I want to feel safe and comfortable in my own skin. I am taking baby steps to make this happen. Instead of hating the migraine part of myself, I am learning to love all of me.
Every day I wake up in so much pain, I feel like I am dying.
Pain, please stop. Go away. I can’t take much more of this.
I ended up in the ER again (a week ago), where they gave me medicine and sent me home. But I woke up the next day just as bad. And the day after that… and the day after that… etc.
My doctors try to help… but still this is where I’m at.
*Fingers crossed* that this torture stops soon.