Tag Archives: chronic migraines

Changing my relationship with pain

http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/painrecovery/

^ This website is a total game-changer for me.

I am learning how to relate to my pain differently, and it has been helping me SO MUCH.

I was at rock bottom after the 17 day migraine streak, thinking I couldn’t go on another day in that much pain.  It was terrifying.  I was deep in the depression and anxiety pit, so scared that the migraine beast wouldn’t leave me alone.

But now I am changing my relationship to the pain, and how I think about it…

I think it’s making a difference!  Which is very exciting, because I needed a change–a mindshift.

This chronic pain journey is really intense.  I feel like I am always learning something new.  I move forward, and I have setbacks.  But changing my relationship with pain is important.

I don’t want to live in fear anymore.  I don’t want to be paranoid.  And I don’t want to battle my body every day.  I want to be friends with it again.  I want to feel safe and comfortable in my own skin.  I am taking baby steps to make this happen.   Instead of hating the migraine part of myself, I am learning to love all of me.

 

 

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Sigh of Relief

When the migraine pain goes away, depression and anxiety come out to play.

Honestly, I will take emotional distress over migraine pain.  Because being stuck in bed in unbearable pain, and going in and out of the Emergency Room is the worst.  My depression and anxiety have been horrible, but at least I can go to a therapist and read books and come up with strategies to battle my mind demons.

This past week, I am finally healing, little by little, and I am breathing a HUGE sigh of relief.

Understanding chronic pain has been a really hard journey.  Recently, I found a website with a really interesting perspective.  I thought I would share it here, because it has been helping me, and maybe it will help you too.  http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/painrecovery/

Thank you online friends for all of your support!  Your comments and likes have helped pull me through this crazy time in my life.  ❤

 

Hangin’ off the edge of a cliff by my claws

Migraine Day 7.  AGAIN!  I am holding on to my sanity, trying to survive with every fiber of my being.  This pain is relentless and barely bearable.

Time for some baby steps to making a few changes in my life.  I have to at least *try.*  What I’m doing isn’t working for me.

So here it goes…

Making little dietary changes and little exercise changes each day will hopefully decrease my pain levels and medication usage.  I don’t want to end up in the Emergency Room again, but the idea is shelved in the back of mind, just in case.

I hope everyone else is doing better out there.  I wish the doctors had more answers and more *concrete* suggestions to help us with migraines.  I’m definitely not giving up hope, but dang, WHY ISN’T THERE MORE RESEARCH?!?!

In other news, I left my job.  I ended up *back* on medical leave for the last month and I just cannot continue.  Everyone around me is immediately asking me, “So where will you work now?”  NOWHERE!  I need a break.  I need to take some time to myself and re-evaluate.  Even though I am fearful of this big change (I worked there for 5 1/2 years, on and off for 11 years!), I think my health needs to take priority right now.

I’m hangin in there, off the edge of a cliff… diggin’ my claws in, never giving up!

 

Time to see all the doctors

To anyone reading this, I hope you had a great weekend!

Mine was pretty traumatic.

Saturday was Day 7 in Migraine Hell and the pain was the worst I’ve felt in a really long time.  I could barely move from the couch.  I took all the meds I possibly could, trying to avoid going to the ER…

…But I ended up there anyway.  At 1 am, I finally gave in.  I should have gone at 1 pm–12 hours earlier–but I was being stubborn.  I learned my lesson the hard way.  Luckily, there weren’t too many people in the ER at 1 am, so even though “migraine” doesn’t typically get treated quickly in the Emergency Room, I had blood work done and was lying in a hospital bed in a dark room within an hour.

Unfortunately, luck wasn’t on my side.  They gave me a “cocktail” of medications through an IV (plus fluids), and *something* triggered an insane panic attack.  I was stuck there, thinking I was dying, and I just wanted to go home.  SO TERRIFYING!  I received another medication, and this one calmed me down enough to fall half asleep.  Sometime after 5 am, I was feeling “better” (aka super out of it) and I was able to go home to sleep.

Yesterday was recovery day at home.  I still  felt panicky and had a less-evil migraine to deal with.

And now today is Monday.  I am making appointments to go see allllllll the doctors.  Back to my primary, back to my neurologist, back to the chiropractor (although that’s a given, since I always see him every other week )… going to get another MRI done… and I have to schedule an appointment with an ENT about TMJ.

What a life.  I am only 30 years old.  Been dealing with this crap for 16 years.  Too much pain.  After I just had a couple good weeks at the beginning of July!  When will it get better?  Will I ever be normal?

*Fingers crossed*