Stupid beast

Time for a pity party:

Migraines seriously suck.

They are so painful, and they cause me to fall into the deepest, darkest depression.

They hit out of nowhere, for no reason, and nothing makes them calm down.

WAY too many days of my life are spent in my bedroom cave, writhing in pain.

Stupid effing disease.

I hate you, migraine beast.

Leave me alone.

Patterns of Healing

Do you think this idea is controversial?:  If my body can learn the patterns of migraine (plus depression and anxiety), then my body can also learn patterns of healing.

This is my main focus right now–researching how to heal myself.

Can I find new patterns and habits that will trigger healing in my body?

I feel like I have been caught up in this pain cycle, where anytime I start to feel better, I think it won’t last.  I’m trying to get myself out of that pattern of thinking.  I am trying to extend the pain breaks and not be fearful of the next migraine attack.

Can my body memorize what the pain breaks feel like so I can stay feeling better for longer periods of time?

This idea is worth exploring to me.  Because taking different pills and trying Botox did not make me better.  Instead, I am going to keep doing research on epigenetics and neuroplasticity.  Which is basically about turning off the “dis-ease” genes and turning on the “healing” genes.  And neuroplasticity is about rewiring your neurological system and creating new patterns in your body.  A lot of this is done with meditation and changing your core beliefs.

Time for a new Kelly Alive.

Can it be done?

…Only time will tell!



Goodbye Funk!

Maybe you need to see this today:

This short 2 minute video talks about how to pull yourself out of a funk.

I’m starting to learn about my emotional patterns, and I am trying to break them and find new ones.  It’s a really exciting journey!  I will post more about it soon.  🙂

A welcome pain break

How AMAZING is it to go a few days in a row without a migraine?!?!? Hallelujah, thank you!  I needed that.

I’ve been sick, but experiencing fewer migraines in the last couple of weeks.  Of course I am playing the guessing game, wondering what could be helping me the most.  Is it the chiropractor visits?  Is it the daily 10 minute meditations using the app Headspace? Or is it random?

Since I’ve been sick, I’ve been spending lots of time at home… But not in my normal overwhelming pain state.  So I am actually learning how to enjoy being stuck in my room/cave and learning how to relax.  I didn’t realize I was so bad at relaxing!

I watched a REALLY AMAZING documentary on Netflix called “Tony Robbins: I Am Not Your Guru.”  And now I am reading one of his books as well.  He has really interesting life strategies.  Check him out if you haven’t yet!

I also started reading “You Are the Placebo” by Dr. Joe Dispenza, which talks about the mind-body connection.  SO SO good!!  I have to thank my friend at for her recommendation!  I’m loving the book so far.

It’s amazing what a few days off of migraines will do to clear out the brain fog.  I hope this lasts!  *Fingers crossed*