New Month!

flat lay photography of calendar

Hello May!

I am thankful for a new month.  For me, April was day after day after day of migraine torture.  Maybe this month will be different?

*fingers crossed*

My neurologist is really on my case to try one of the new migraine drugs, but I am *terrified.* I’ve had terrible luck with any and every type of preventative thus far. I’ve tried basically everything else. Usually what happens is my migraines stay the same, or they get worse… plus tons of side effects. Plus I hate needles. Has everyone else heard about the anti-CGRP meds?

I’ve been procrastinating on trying one, but I’m really feeling the pressure from my doctor.

Anyone else tired of being a guinea pig?

So yeah, that’s my update. My brain feels like it’s been shutdown for all of April. Somehow, I’m managing to have somewhat of a life though. I feel like I have no choice. I’m much too antsy to sit around all day, every day. It’s tough to know what the “right thing” to do is.

Am I overthinking everything? Probably. No wonder my head hurts all the time. Too many thoughts!

Here’s to hope: for a better month, and less migraine pain-filled days.

 

 

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Post-Birthday Post

All of your fingers-and-toes crossings worked, because I had NO MIGRAINE for the entire day on my birthday! So I want to say, great job contributing, everyone! IT WORKED! Hallelujah!

It felt amazing to have 1 full day off.

So yup, that was yesterday. Blissful and brilliant birthday.

How was today, you ask?

The opposite.

I woke up feeling fine, and then I got the most insane migraine attack totally out of the blue this afternoon. One of the worst ones I’ve had in a while. Totally disabled on the couch, could barely move or eat or open my eyes. Lots of tears.

It was a big ole “WHY ME?!” pity party.

My brain and emotions went haywire. Life feels so incredibly unfair, to get hit with that much pain, unexpectedly, no reason. I did everything I could to stay away from the hospital. And luckily, I didn’t have to go. But I was thisclose.

I’m feeling a bit gutted. I want to be normal so bad.

I’m lucky I have good days, but my gooooooooooosh, it’s a miracle that I survived today. It felt like I was dying.

#migrainelife

adult alone anxious black and white

 

Almost my birthday!

I went 3 weeks without a crazy bad migraine attack. I still got headaches and felt paranoid about them turning into migraines, but they didn’t…

Until Saturday night.

And I’ve had the migraine from hell since then.

Tomorrow is my birthday… AHHH!!!!!!

*fingers crossed* that I feel better for the birthday celebration.

Pushing through the pain isn’t always a great idea, but my birthday comes only once a year, so I might just have to do my best.

#migrainelife

lighted happy birthday candles

What’s new?

I was hoping to post some great writing that would be inspirational or helpful… but for now, I’ll post anything, since it’s been too long.

The depression symptoms that started flaring up last year are still really bad. This is probably the worse it’s ever been. I’m dealing with it the best I can, but it sucks.

Migraine life lately has been an extreme roller coaster. The pain is 10 out of 10 intense when it hits, and it feels like I’m dying. And then after a period of hours or days or weeks, it vanishes. It leaves behind a dull ache, but it’s not so bad. Then I resume whatever “normal life” is. And then as quickly as it went, it comes back. It’s dizzying to deal with.

Since working has been impossible, I decided to take 1 class at the local college. So that’s 1 positive thing that’s happened this year so far.

Thank you for reading this! Thank you for caring about me, in that lovely anonymous way. ❤