The first 2 weeks of July were a nice change. I woke up feeling the migraine twinge, but the beast stayed away. Day after day, little by little, I started to feel a little more normal. I got out of the pain cycle. IT WAS SO NICE! I had a lovely break from this migraine life and was able to do some really fun things with family and friends.
But it didn’t last, sadly.
I am now stuck in Migraine hell, Day 5 today. 5 days in a row of utter misery.
I am about to lose my dang mind. I am holding on to threads of sanity.
Depression won’t leave me alone, which really doesn’t help the state I am in.
I can’t wait for this to pass. I wish I could do something productive despite the pain, but it is overwhelming me right now. I go back and forth between despair and acceptance. I understand that I have this condition, but WHY?! I did nothing differently, not to my knowledge. And I can handle 1 day of sitting around in my hot dark room. But 5 days in a row? Frick.
Waiting to be saved…
I had a really great birthday this year. I was lucky enough to have my family and boyfriend to celebrate with, really fun plans, and a low-pain day. YAY!
Since then, I’ve been dealing with the usual: lots of migraine attacks, pain meds, and work stress.
PLUS I am suffering from a horrific cough and fatigue. Yuck.
On the bright side, my sickness allows me to slow down a little, do some quality reading, and do a little thinking about life.
How life is this craaaaaaazy journey that happens IN THE NOW. Moment to moment. And the moments add up to an ever-growing past.
And the stuff that actually happens? It’s not really what you plan for!
But no matter what, I can HANDLE it. I have to hang in there and focus on the positive… because no matter what, there is ALWAYS positive.
Life is kinda f-ed up, but that’s okay. Sometimes I feel a little seasick from the boat always being rocked. But I can handle it. And I enjoy it as much as I can. Like my birthday, for example. Thoroughly enjoyable and makes being alive worthwhile.
The good streaks always come to an end. I let them trick me again. I told myself not to get my hopes up, but optimism got the best of me. It fooled me. And I’m feeling very low right now.
My low-pain streak lasted a whole 10 days. INSANE, right?! I almost started to feel like a normal person, and not a chronic migraineur. I thought, “OOH, maybe I can have a life after migraines…”
But now I’ve had many days of relentless, seemingly-endless migraine head pain. Back to being horribly and unbearably tortured.
Before my good steak, I thought I was getting close to accepting life as a disabled migraine sufferer… but then I had a good 10 day break from that life… and now…
I HATE THIS SO MUCH.
IT’S NOT FAIR.
I’m grateful for those blissful moments without migraine head pain. But when I start feeling so high on NORMALCY, it makes the crash back to Migraine reality even HARDER. Of course I’d rather have some good moments than none at all. But here I am, feeling super depressed again. Such a roller-coaster.
My sleep hasn’t been good this week. My stress levels have been high. The holidays are usually a nice time, except this is my first holiday season without my Mom. She was the best at getting everyone in the Spirit– baking her famous cookies, cooking delicious meals, and picking out the *best* presents.
So where do I go from here? I have to be honest with myself and those around me. I’ll try to take care of myself as best I can and cheer myself up. I know I can make it through this low point. Holding onto hope for more good days…
When I was in the Emergency Room at the hospital with horrible migraines 3 times this year, I was given a cocktail of medications, always including Benadryl Allergy (diphenhydramine), an antihistamine.
Since it helped me sleep, I decided to take one or two every night before going to bed for the last couple of weeks.
SHOCKINGLY, I’ve had more pain-free days than painful days lately. (Before the Benadryl, I was waking up with horrible migraine head pain almost every day.)
I’ve been doing some research for a few days, and I found a study that is really interesting: http://ajcn.nutrition.org/content/85/5/1185.long
Here’s an excerpt:
“Many migraine patients have histamine intolerance evidenced by reduced DAO activity, triggering of headache by food rich in histamine (eg, long-ripened cheese or wine), and the alleviation of headache (ie, disappearance of symptoms) under a histamine-free diet (57, 65) and therapy with antihistamines (66).”
Has anyone else tried a histamine-free diet or a medication therapy including antihistamines (like Benadryl)?????
I feel like I may be onto something…