The first 2 weeks of July were a nice change. I woke up feeling the migraine twinge, but the beast stayed away. Day after day, little by little, I started to feel a little more normal. I got out of the pain cycle. IT WAS SO NICE! I had a lovely break from this migraine life and was able to do some really fun things with family and friends.
But it didn’t last, sadly.
I am now stuck in Migraine hell, Day 5 today. 5 days in a row of utter misery.
I am about to lose my dang mind. I am holding on to threads of sanity.
Depression won’t leave me alone, which really doesn’t help the state I am in.
I can’t wait for this to pass. I wish I could do something productive despite the pain, but it is overwhelming me right now. I go back and forth between despair and acceptance. I understand that I have this condition, but WHY?! I did nothing differently, not to my knowledge. And I can handle 1 day of sitting around in my hot dark room. But 5 days in a row? Frick.
Waiting to be saved…
The migraine roller-coaster has taken me to some low places lately. Some days are incredibly challenging to get through.
Yesterday and today I finally felt a little upswing. How interesting… my low pain days are also good mood days. I am still looking for any kind of pattern or hint at what brings me down, and what can help bring me up. I am still searching.
I started a new book called “Cure: A Journey into the Science of Mind Over Body” by Jo Marchant. I am 30 pages in and loving it. 🙂
New month, new beginning. Here’s to holding on to hope and making the best life outta this migraine-filled existence!
Today is Chronic Migraine Awareness Day.
For me, June has been a month of 20 attack days (so far).
I felt compelled to post on my personal Facebook page for literally all of my friends, family and coworkers to see. Because the struggle is real, even if I can mask it when I am in public.
Here is what I wrote:
“*TODAY* is Chronic Migraine Awareness Day. CM is very complicated to deal with on so many levels: pain-wise and emotionally. I don’t always talk about it, or show it, but I struggle. Would you be surprised to know that in the month of June alone, I had migraine attacks on 20 days? CM is under-funded and under-researched. Hopefully in my lifetime, migraine will be taken more seriously as we spread awareness. Love you all, thank you for taking the time to read this. “
No matter what response this Facebook post gets, I am proud of myself for being honest with the world. It’s not an easy thing to do. There is still stigma and misunderstanding. Hopefully the little part I play helps toward the greater good.
I have been really sick with migraines or silent migraines almost every day this month. I am not handling it very well, in any sense. The symptoms are disabling, yet invisible to everyone. I keep hearing “I hope you feel better soon!” yet May is almost over and I still feel horrible. It’s starting to feel like Groundhog’s Day… so repetitive. And it feels like so much pressure to get back to “normal,” but not even MY normal is REALLY “normal.” Every task is difficult, more than ever before. And I don’t know what to do.