To anyone reading this, I hope you had a great weekend!
Mine was pretty traumatic.
Saturday was Day 7 in Migraine Hell and the pain was the worst I’ve felt in a really long time. I could barely move from the couch. I took all the meds I possibly could, trying to avoid going to the ER…
…But I ended up there anyway. At 1 am, I finally gave in. I should have gone at 1 pm–12 hours earlier–but I was being stubborn. I learned my lesson the hard way. Luckily, there weren’t too many people in the ER at 1 am, so even though “migraine” doesn’t typically get treated quickly in the Emergency Room, I had blood work done and was lying in a hospital bed in a dark room within an hour.
Unfortunately, luck wasn’t on my side. They gave me a “cocktail” of medications through an IV (plus fluids), and *something* triggered an insane panic attack. I was stuck there, thinking I was dying, and I just wanted to go home. SO TERRIFYING! I received another medication, and this one calmed me down enough to fall half asleep. Sometime after 5 am, I was feeling “better” (aka super out of it) and I was able to go home to sleep.
Yesterday was recovery day at home. I still felt panicky and had a less-evil migraine to deal with.
And now today is Monday. I am making appointments to go see allllllll the doctors. Back to my primary, back to my neurologist, back to the chiropractor (although that’s a given, since I always see him every other week )… going to get another MRI done… and I have to schedule an appointment with an ENT about TMJ.
What a life. I am only 30 years old. Been dealing with this crap for 16 years. Too much pain. After I just had a couple good weeks at the beginning of July! When will it get better? Will I ever be normal?
The first 2 weeks of July were a nice change. I woke up feeling the migraine twinge, but the beast stayed away. Day after day, little by little, I started to feel a little more normal. I got out of the pain cycle. IT WAS SO NICE! I had a lovely break from this migraine life and was able to do some really fun things with family and friends.
But it didn’t last, sadly.
I am now stuck in Migraine hell, Day 5 today. 5 days in a row of utter misery.
I am about to lose my dang mind. I am holding on to threads of sanity.
Depression won’t leave me alone, which really doesn’t help the state I am in.
I can’t wait for this to pass. I wish I could do something productive despite the pain, but it is overwhelming me right now. I go back and forth between despair and acceptance. I understand that I have this condition, but WHY?! I did nothing differently, not to my knowledge. And I can handle 1 day of sitting around in my hot dark room. But 5 days in a row? Frick.
Waiting to be saved…
The migraine roller-coaster has taken me to some low places lately. Some days are incredibly challenging to get through.
Yesterday and today I finally felt a little upswing. How interesting… my low pain days are also good mood days. I am still looking for any kind of pattern or hint at what brings me down, and what can help bring me up. I am still searching.
I started a new book called “Cure: A Journey into the Science of Mind Over Body” by Jo Marchant. I am 30 pages in and loving it. 🙂
New month, new beginning. Here’s to holding on to hope and making the best life outta this migraine-filled existence!
Today is Chronic Migraine Awareness Day.
For me, June has been a month of 20 attack days (so far).
I felt compelled to post on my personal Facebook page for literally all of my friends, family and coworkers to see. Because the struggle is real, even if I can mask it when I am in public.
Here is what I wrote:
“*TODAY* is Chronic Migraine Awareness Day. CM is very complicated to deal with on so many levels: pain-wise and emotionally. I don’t always talk about it, or show it, but I struggle. Would you be surprised to know that in the month of June alone, I had migraine attacks on 20 days? CM is under-funded and under-researched. Hopefully in my lifetime, migraine will be taken more seriously as we spread awareness. Love you all, thank you for taking the time to read this. “
No matter what response this Facebook post gets, I am proud of myself for being honest with the world. It’s not an easy thing to do. There is still stigma and misunderstanding. Hopefully the little part I play helps toward the greater good.