Time to see all the doctors

To anyone reading this, I hope you had a great weekend!

Mine was pretty traumatic.

Saturday was Day 7 in Migraine Hell and the pain was the worst I’ve felt in a really long time.  I could barely move from the couch.  I took all the meds I possibly could, trying to avoid going to the ER…

…But I ended up there anyway.  At 1 am, I finally gave in.  I should have gone at 1 pm–12 hours earlier–but I was being stubborn.  I learned my lesson the hard way.  Luckily, there weren’t too many people in the ER at 1 am, so even though “migraine” doesn’t typically get treated quickly in the Emergency Room, I had blood work done and was lying in a hospital bed in a dark room within an hour.

Unfortunately, luck wasn’t on my side.  They gave me a “cocktail” of medications through an IV (plus fluids), and *something* triggered an insane panic attack.  I was stuck there, thinking I was dying, and I just wanted to go home.  SO TERRIFYING!  I received another medication, and this one calmed me down enough to fall half asleep.  Sometime after 5 am, I was feeling “better” (aka super out of it) and I was able to go home to sleep.

Yesterday was recovery day at home.  I still  felt panicky and had a less-evil migraine to deal with.

And now today is Monday.  I am making appointments to go see allllllll the doctors.  Back to my primary, back to my neurologist, back to the chiropractor (although that’s a given, since I always see him every other week )… going to get another MRI done… and I have to schedule an appointment with an ENT about TMJ.

What a life.  I am only 30 years old.  Been dealing with this crap for 16 years.  Too much pain.  After I just had a couple good weeks at the beginning of July!  When will it get better?  Will I ever be normal?

*Fingers crossed*

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…Better, and now bad again

The first 2 weeks of July were a nice change.  I woke up feeling the migraine twinge, but the beast stayed away.  Day after day, little by little, I started to feel a little more normal.  I got out of the pain cycle.  IT WAS SO NICE!  I had a lovely break from this migraine life and was able to do some really fun things with family and friends.

But it didn’t last, sadly.

I am now stuck in Migraine hell, Day 5 today.  5 days in a row of utter misery.

I am about to lose my dang mind.  I am holding on to threads of sanity.

Depression won’t leave me alone, which really doesn’t help the state I am in.

I can’t wait for this to pass.  I wish I could do something productive despite the pain, but it is overwhelming me right now.  I go back and forth between despair and acceptance.  I understand that I have this condition, but WHY?!  I did nothing differently, not to my knowledge.  And I can handle 1 day of sitting around in my hot dark room.  But 5 days in a row?  Frick.

Waiting to be saved…

Back on Track

The migraine roller-coaster has taken me to some low places lately.  Some days are incredibly challenging to get through.

Yesterday and today I finally felt a little upswing.  How interesting… my low pain days are also good mood days.  I am still looking for any kind of pattern or hint at what brings me down, and what can help bring me up.  I am still searching.

I started a new book called “Cure: A Journey into the Science of Mind Over Body” by Jo Marchant.  I am 30 pages in and loving it.  🙂

New month, new beginning.  Here’s to holding on to hope and making the best life outta this migraine-filled existence!

Making an invisible disease VISIBLE!

Today is Chronic Migraine Awareness Day.

For me, June has been a month of 20 attack days (so far).

I felt compelled to post on my personal Facebook page for literally all of my friends, family and coworkers to see.  Because the struggle is real, even if I can mask it when I am in public.

Here is what I wrote:

“*TODAY* is Chronic Migraine Awareness Day. CM is very complicated to deal with on so many levels: pain-wise and emotionally. I don’t always talk about it, or show it, but I struggle. Would you be surprised to know that in the month of June alone, I had migraine attacks on 20 days? CM is under-funded and under-researched. Hopefully in my lifetime, migraine will be taken more seriously as we spread awareness. Love you all, thank you for taking the time to read this.

No matter what response this Facebook post gets, I am proud of myself for being honest with the world.  It’s not an easy thing to do.  There is still stigma and misunderstanding.  Hopefully the little part I play helps toward the greater good.

 

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