Phase One

I’m taking a break from the given Blog Challenge today to post a little something I wrote last night.  I wanted to describe what the first phase of a migraine attack is like, aka the Prodromal stage.  It’s an important part of the chronic migraine disease because I spend a LOT of time feeling like this.  This first phase can sometimes happen without turning into the painful part of a migraine (although it usually does), but it’s a sucky part of migraine disease nonetheless. 

I can feel a migraine approaching. There is pressure behind one of my eyes (left or right, it changes almost every day). My neck feels stiff. Lights seem brighter and harsher. All sounds seem louder and more annoying. My mood dips and I start to feel depressed, and anxious about the possibility of an attack.  My energy is low and I feel out of it, with a foggy brain. It feels as if someone has injected me with poison, into my temple and eye, and the poison is spreading throughout half of my head. All the vessels in my brain feel like spider-webs, and any slight trip will send the attack into full pain mode. That feeling of spider webs, that feeling of an injected poison, that is how I know that I might be in for a dreaded painful phase of Migraine. Sometimes sleep helps, but sometimes it makes it worse. Same with eating food, or taking Advil or Aleve… it’s a 50/50 shot.  Should I take some over-the-counter pills? Or jump straight to the good stuff? It’s always SO HARD to know WHAT to do. I hear voices in my head of doctors and of loved ones:  “TRY TO TAKE LESS PAIN PILLS” but then in the next breath they say, “DON’T WAIT TOO LONG OR THE PAIN IS HARDER TO GET RID OF.” Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

It really makes me wonder what triggers that (metaphorical) injection of poison, or that feeling of spider webs.  Sometimes I can feel like that all day and not get to the pain part.  But it’s painful in its own way, like that feeling of dread and anxiety, waiting to see if a full attack is triggered. I wrote that last night, woke up almost every hour to switch out my ice packs and keep it from getting worse.  Today I’m still in the first phase… so yay for that… which is kinda sad… I’m happy about ONLY feeling like someone injected half my head with poison.  C’est la vie. 


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