When excruciating migraine head pain is present, the pain is all a person can think about. How much it hurts, how quickly one wants it to disappear and never return. The pain can hold a person back from doing what they love to do, and keeps them from doing what they must do. Some days, when it’s horrible, it feels like everything is falling apart. Retreat and hide from all noise, light and life.
Once the pain is gone, the emotional damage can sometimes take a toll on a person. Trying to make up for missing work. Feeling guilty for missing out. Feeling like a black hole sucked out days of life being lived. And the fatigue from the battle lingers. The pain battle may be over, but the war is on.
I made it out of the black hole of pain. Now I’m trying to make up for lost time. I’ve been keeping busy. Still working on accepting my condition. It’s hard not to feel completely worn out from migraines all the time, even when the pain isn’t present.
There are times when I feel okay and try to get on with a “normal” life. When I have a string of good days, like I’ve been having, I don’t even want to think about or mention migraines for fear I might jinx one into existence.
I’m not sure what I’m doing differently. I wish I knew.