Today is Migraine Day 6. This streak is tiring and emotional.
A migraine appears and feels like DEATH, but then it goes away and I feel ALIVE and EUPHORIC. I’ve been on this roller coaster for 6 days straight, where the pain is unbearable, and then it fades away, and then it comes back.
Sometimes I am okay; sometimes I am not okay. It is COMPLETELY unpredictable. I am trying not to feel guilty for doing things when I am feeling better. I feel like there’s this expectation: if you’re sick, you must be on bedrest 24/7. But the reality is, the pain comes and goes. It doesn’t make sense to not take advantage of the time I have when I feel better. I hate feeling guilty for taking care of myself and doing fun things when the pain is tolerable. I don’t want to feel like somehow, me going out of the house takes away the validation that I had real pain.
Most people don’t get it. I stare DEATH (aka suicidal pain) straight in the face all of the time, and I WIN. I win because I’m alive.